Finding Revelation in Messiaen’s Music: My Fulbright year in Paris

No music moves me like Messiaen’s. Like most people, I initially found his music abstract and difficult, even as I was learning my part in Le Quatuor pour la fin du Temps in 2010. But I had a moment of revelation and finally understood what made his music special during the first rehearsal when all the instruments came together. I found a universe of purity and spirituality, which can transform both performer and audience. I have never been so strongly affected by any other music. This was the experience that ignited my passion for Messiaen’s music, and I could not get enough of it. I applied for the Fulbright to study the Vingt regards sur l’Enfant-Jésus with one of the world’s foremost performers and teachers of his works, Michel Béroff.

with Michel Béroff

It was the hardest music I’ve ever had to learn. The sheer scope of the work (the cycle runs about two hours), and the entirely new musical language make it both challenging and, at times, frustrating. Messiaen’s work is unlike that of any composers I grew up playing. I had to teach my brain and hands to put together chords and understand rhythms (and memorize them!) that I had never played before.

I needed the right teacher to guide me in this new musical language. Mr. Béroff knew Messiaen (he studied with Yvonne Loriod, to whom the piece was dedicated) and even played the work for the master multiple times. While working with Béroff, I gained unique and powerful insights into the piece by working from his score, which included notes made by the Messiaen himself. Once I got past the herculean task of learning the work, the pieces of the puzzle fell into place, and the harmonies became familiar, even natural in my hands. The recurring themes and their variations shaped my understanding of the extra-musical elements. The breakthrough was one of the most satisfying periods in my musical life, and I plan to record the entire cycle and much more of Messiaen’s music in the coming years.

From Vingt regards sur l'enfant-Jésus Bolzano, Italy August 27, 2015